Charles Tingley

Dr. Charles Otis Tingley, Jr. died on September 2, 2021 surrounded by his family and closest friends, after a long and hard fought battle against Multi-System Atrophy. Much to the amazement of those around him, he never lost his zest for life and he was a shining example of strength, courage and a relentless determination to continue to enjoy his life to the fullest, despite the limitations of this terrible disease.

Dr. Tingley, also known as Dad, Uncle Buck, General Bucky, Buck, Chuck, Dr. T, Tingley, and Charles, was born on February 12, 1943, in Washington, D.C. at Walter Reed National Military Medical Center, the son of Colonel Charles O. and Honora (Pyle) Tingley, Sr. Surviving are Paula, mother of his three children, Kimberly and her husband Kevin, Caroline and her husband Peter, and Jennifer and her husband Robert; 6 grandchildren, Olivia, Jackson Otis, TJ, Benny, Sean, and Harry; his devoted friend and companion, Sharon Greenleaf; two sisters, Patricia Tingley and Barbara Woodward and her husband Johnny, and their four children, JC (Deana), Katie (John), Michael (Lisa) and Allison(Jason) and many great-nieces and great-nephews, as well numerous loyal and steadfast friends.

Dr. Tingley attended Saint Michael’s Catholic Elementary School in Silver Spring, MD. and Archbishop John Carroll High School in Washington, D.C. In 1966, he received a B.S. in Humanities from Merrimack College, North Andover, Massachusetts. He continued his education at Assumption College in Worcester, Massachusetts, where he received a M.S. in Rehabilitation Counseling in 1967, and Syracuse University, where he received his Ph.D. in Counseling Psychology in 1971.

Dr. Tingley began his career in 1967 by developing a sheltered workshop in Wisconsin, where he worked with the physically and intellectually challenged, as a prerequisite for his Ph.D. program. During his Ph.D. program, he worked at the Veterans Administration, with veterans with disabilities, where he met lasting friends. After he completed his Ph.D, he was hired as the Director of Mental Health Services at the Counseling Center, now known as CHCS, in Bangor, Maine. In Bangor, he embarked on what would become his life’s work. He came to love the state of Maine, where he and Paula raised their family, and he forged many lifelong friendships.

Dr. Tingley enjoyed a long and successful career as a Psychologist in Maine. In 1971, he began a private practice out of his home on Maple Street. While continuing to see clients privately, he began to see a need to help to serve those with severe and long term mental illness that were being deinstitutionalized with little to no life skills or support. This inspired him to start Northeast Occupational Exchange in 1975, the motto of which was “Exchanging motivation for practical knowledge and skills”; skills which clients learned in NOE’s day treatment program, and it's bakery, redemption center, grocery store, greenhouse, bike repair shop, and restaurant, and through working at various local community businesses. He ran this organization, along with the tireless support of Sharon, serving thousands of clients over a span of 45 years. He loved the clients he served, and valued them as unique individuals and he was incredibly gifted at his profession.

Dr. Tingley also sought to help those in need become better parents, with the goal of keeping families together. Based on his exemplary efforts in this area his work was published in Blueprints for Violence Prevention, for which the selection criteria is very high. He was extremely proud of his work in this area, and his success led to him being the recipient of the prestigious Lela Rowland Award in 2004. He was invited to Washington, D.C. to receive this award at the annual conference for the National Mental Health Association. However, rather than accept this award on his own, he recognized the contribution of the clinicians and support staff of NOE to the program's success, and he felt it was important that they all attend the conference in Washington, to receive this award along with him. Additionally, Dr. Tingley was extremely proud of his American Board of Professional Psychology (ABPP) certification, which is a long and arduous process that only a small percentage of licensed psychologists achieve.

Dr. Tingley was an avid sports and physical fitness enthusiast, with a particular fondness for biking. Not one to shy away from a challenge, he completed, five times, what has been deemed the toughest hill climb in the world, the Mount Washington Auto Road Hill Climb, with friends and family shivering at the summit, awaiting his arrival and questioning his sanity. He also organized and completed three successful bike trips to Washington, D.C., ending on the steps of the United States Capitol, greeted by Senators from the State of Maine, to raise money and awareness for mental health. His fondest memories with friends and family involved his biking adventures with their hilarious mishaps, carbo loading pre-ride meals, and the promise of post ride dinners at restaurants that he would assure his ravenous and road weary bike companions that they were “just around the next corner”. In addition to biking, he loved to cross country ski in the woods of Maine, occasionally and memorably hack at a golf ball, and he would rarely miss a game of his beloved sports teams; the Boston Red Sox, Washington Football Team, the Portland Sea Dogs, and the Boston Bruins.

Dr. Tingley was a voracious reader, with a deep appreciation for the written and spoken word, and he was never far from a teetering stack of books or magazines. He had an incredible ability to spin a tale, and he had several well known stories that will live in infamy, that he told and retold, that grew more outlandish over time. He had an unparalleled ability to trade puns, a game almost nobody could beat him at, though many tried. He had a long list of sayings and adages that he used frequently to impart his pearls of wisdom and his sense of humor and his astonishingly quick and dry wit will long be remembered by his family, friends, and the many doctors, nurses and caretakers that were in his life. He was also an animal lover, and cared lovingly for many dogs, cats, and a few rabbits, some of whom were “gifted” to him by his daughters, and most of whom were named after his favorite sports figures.

Dr. Tingley had a lifelong love of music of all kinds that began early in his life. Though he had no musical talent whatsoever, and could not carry a tune, this never stopped him from belting out a song and air playing an instrument, and he was always the first person to hit the dance floor, even if he was alone. He loved a good concert, whether it be country, or rock n’roll from any era. But, his single most favorite artist of all time was Elvis. Much like Elvis, he could don a gold lame suit and regale any crowd with an off key rendition of any Elvis tune ever recorded. And much like Elvis, he had a trailblazing nature, and was generous, kind, humble, and most importantly, accepting of all people.

Dr. Tingley’s greatest joy in his life were his three children, and his 6 grandchildren. His three daughters were the center of his life, and to say that he was devoted to them is an understatement. He was a calming and steadfast presence throughout their lives, and he was front and center for every event. He drove the same, American-made, brown Chevrolet Caprice throughout his daughter’s elementary, high school and college years, until he drove it into the ground after 279,000 miles. If you were on time, this car often had a good cup of coffee in the cup holder, and a bag of fresh cinnamon buns in the front seat. He drove it, with the seat pushed way back, one hand on the wheel, and his choice of good music on the radio. He took his daughters on many adventures-to fairs, skiing, concerts, and throughout Maine to random church dinners, and roadside antique shops, where he enjoyed bantering with the proprietors. He imparted his love of a good surprise on his girls, and later on his grandkids, often showing up unannounced and maybe in an outlandish costume, at one of their events. He always answered the phone, no matter what, when they called. He was a great listener, and gave good, solid advice. He embraced his sons-in-law and loved them, while at the same time relentlessly making fun of them, and of their choice of sports teams or political views, if they differed from his. He enjoyed talking about politics, history, and sports and some of his favorite times were just “visiting” with friends and family. He enjoyed spending time with his older sister Pat and he loved his baby sister, Barbara, her husband Johnny and their entire family, who were devoted to him. He loved his visits with them, sharing stories of their childhood in the D.C. area, and later, on the shores of the Chesapeake Bay. He adored his 6 grandchildren, and they adored him. He was Santa every Christmas, first for his daughters, then his grandchildren, trekking through the snow in the backyard in his red suit. He loved having them sleep on his chest when they were babies, and later, teaching them all the life skills he felt were important. He celebrated all of their successes, and supported them through their failures and didn’t hesitate to tell everyone he knew, like it or not, about his grandkids. Even in his final days, calls and visits from his kids and grandkids were what made him the happiest.

Throughout his battle with MSA, he was lovingly cared for by Paula and Sharon, as well as his Visiting Angel, Diane, each of whom spent countless hours by his side, caring for him, playing his music, watching the Red Sox, CNN, Gunsmoke, The Waltons and The Virginian, taking him on outings, and talking and laughing with him. He was visited frequently by his daughters, his sons-in-law, and his beloved grandchildren, and he spent hours using his bluetooth headset, Facetiming his family when in person visits weren’t an option. He was fortunate to enjoy many visits from his dearest and most devoted friends. He will be deeply missed by all those who knew and loved him, but if he were here, he would undoubtedly invoke one of his most well known adages; “Don’t dwell, do differently”.

In lieu of flowers, donations may be made in his name to:

Northeast Occupational Exchange, PO Box 1189, Bangor, Maine 04402
Bangor Humane Society, 693 Mount Hope Avenue, Bangor, Maine 04401